CRAPPY HARDCORE.

CRAPPY HARDCORE.

It’s amazing how much time you get to think about things when you have some form of tropical stomach bug. This little present sent home with me from the Dominican Republic has had me err…sat in one place for hours on and off, and it reminded me of the state of some of today’s music, but specifically those adverts you see on TV for CD’s like ‘Happy Hardcore, mixed by DJ Lacking Creativity’.

Man, the first thing that bugs me about this stuff (or from the adverts at least) is that every beat on every track is the same. It’s the same. I mean, there is no difference…at all. I can understand the mixing of tracks from the same genre, creating an ebb-and-flow of highs and lows for listeners to react or dance to – but the same drum track with a different melody on top…for, like, an hour at a time. That, to me is just water torture. Now, someone will say, ‘yeah, but there’s breakdowns and build-ups, and anyway, F%*K you B, we like the beats’. And all this is valid, I’m glad there’s breakdowns and build-ups because otherwise it would be a little like putting on a CD of someone drilling in to your wall…from your side, and I wouldn’t wish that on anyone. I truly believe you need more than a natural urge to sit and listen to Happy Hardcore, if you get my meaning.

The other thing that amazes me is that at the DJ’s put their names to it, ‘Mixed by DJ Bored Senseless‘. I mean, they must be. I imagine that they get well paid for doing it, so therefore have to put their names on it contractually, but it must be a real downer to know that the skills you are renowned for are essentially the same as the ‘30 second mix’ setting on iTunes.
‘Yeah, B, but some tunes differ in tempo so we have to get the timing right’.
OK…isn’t there a slider that you can change that with, or even a button that does that sort of thing automatically these days. I think there is.

But, well done though.

It’s not the DJ’s it’s the music that gets me. I have had the pleasure of watching some amazing DJ’s do some amazing things over the last 17 years and I’m not a DJ but I know the skills involved with being able to control the records…I know because I’ve had a crack, and I’m terrible at it. Happy Hardcore just seems like the sort of music you’d learn to mix with because it’s easy, what with it being the same beat, and all. I guess it just bores me really to listen to, it’s just so unsurprising.

Sorry. Don’t really know why Happy Hardcore got it in the neck today – I have no proximity with the genre at all except for the TV ads. Maybe that’s it though, all the while they are trying to sell me this Tripe, and it’s just fuelling my hatred for it. I like music…all music, I can dislike it, but should I really hate it? I feel like the ads are showing the worst possible overview of a genre, and I’m wondering why that is, if indeed, that is the case.

Maybe they don’t get it.

I don’t blame them, I don’t get it either.

So, what’s to be got?

B. Minor